Nobody Knows Where I've Been

      So im just going to jump right into this weeks blog. I have been feeling pretty down in the dumps lately. You see I am a senior in high school and my graduation is coming up. Also it has almost been 14 months that I have been sick and almost a year that I have been diagnosed. Its coming down pretty hard on me. I feel like I have lots friends because they have found someone else who can "go out" with and "have fun" with and I also feel like my senior year of high school has just flown by so quickly. 

     This is the time of year where most seniors would be saying how they "Should have/could have" and it hit me that I was one of the few that was saying "I wish I could have". It has not been easy to have a disease. I feel like sometimes people just can not wrap their head around the fact that I am sick or even what my disease is. They all say they get it but somehow I can tell that they don't.

      My disease is invisible. Most kids that have JM are not in wheelchairs and do not have assistive walking devices so people treat them as if they have noting wrong with them. Most people do not understand what it is like to be in a body that attacks itself. They sit there and judge the person from what they see on the outside and that just is not fair! I know, I know, life is not fair. I get that, but why do we have pay for it? 

      I guess my situation is a little different though, people can physically see that I am in a wheelchair at school and therefore they should understand a little better right? Well wrong. They don't. Sometimes its worse. They sit in their desk acting like you do not even exists  Like your illness is contagious or something. Like if they are nice to you that the WHOLE WORLD will turn against them and make fun of them. They go around you to get to a door before you do and then they do not even hold it open for you. Didn't your momma ever teach you manners kid??????????

      Sorry about that little rant. It is just that sometimes I get so upset with people that I just need to let it out or I might just explode. The thing that I know most people with an illness can relate to is the fact that people can be "to optimistic". And when I say I do not mean that I do not like when people care but sometimes you just have to take it for what it is and say that you believe them. That you believe that they are going through pain, struggles and so so much more. The comment that gets me the most is when they say "it could be worse" or "well you could have cancer"....I mean come on people. Where do you get this kind of thinking from?? Yea, I know. I could have cancer but you want to know something, I take some of the same medications that they do. Steroids, chemo shots, and so much more.

      Think about what you are going to say before leaves your mouth. Before you utter those words "I know how you feel" because let me tell you something, you don't. Heck I don't even know what or how Im feeling sometimes if that makes any sense. All I can say is that we should all live by the saying "Do onto others as you would have done onto you." 

      We all have our mountains to climb and our demons to face in life but in the end it does not matter how cool you were in high school, how many awards you won, or how many parties you went to, all that matters is that you were kind and caring and understanding when someone is down. Nobody knows where I've been but I sure do appreciate when there is a friend there to listen. So just remember that you have an impact on every person you meet and that there is no greater thing in the world then kindness, love, and listening.

If you would like to learn more about my disease please visit www.curejm.org